Sam Braddock's Psych Test
by horsegirl888
Summary: Something is bothering Jules. Is it really Sam's version of a psych evaluation? xX.Oneshot.Xx


**Disclaimer: Will I ever own Flashpoint??**

**Well, I'm having a horrible week, so I just thought I'd write a fic to get my mind off it. It started out on Saturday, when I fell off one of my favourite horses, Fresco, and sprained my ankle. It became all swollen and bruised, so we decided to go to the physiotherapist today to see what we could do about it. It turns out that I tore a ligament and it's a 2nd level tear, and it could become 3rd level if I roll over on it again. If it's third level then I'd need a cast or an operation to fix it. Now, unfortunately my dance teachers are REALLY REALLY mad at me because I have to miss two dance competitions, and I'm probably going to have to drop my pointe solo. So I'm in a terrible mood, as you can probably imagine. **

**I was inspired to write this because my cousin tried this test on me a few days ago, and I must say my answers were pretty hilarious once she told me what the questions meant. Try it on your friends sometime if you want a good laugh. I needed some more Sam/Jules stuff, cuz I really miss Flashpoint, and I'm hoping there's gonna be tons more Sam and Jules in the upcoming season! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Jules groaned loudly as her iPod began to blast Sexy Bitch, by David Guetta, on that warm spring afternoon, as she lay sprawled out across a lawn chair on her deck. Sam looked over at her curiously from his seat as she crawled off the chair to go fumble with her iPod dock.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "I like this song."

Jules shot him an angry stare. "I don't," she snapped. "It's disrespectful to women."

"Then why's it on your iPod?"

Jules shrugged, returning and lying on the chair, after changing the song to something more peaceful.

"You're not going to get a tan in April, you know," Sam pointed out, looking over at his girlfriend in her skimpy bikini as she applied tanning oils.

As the sun rolled out from behind the clouds, Jules shielded her eyes from the light with the back of her hands. "I'm trying to get a head start."

A few moments later, Sam pulled his chair up closer to Jules', and she rolled over onto her back to face him.

* * *

"How 'bout we play a game?" he said, a boyish smile appearing on his lips.

Jules sighed, but sat up anyways and settled herself. "Uh oh."

"OK," Sam began. "Picture yourself on a beach…"

Jules closed her eyes and smiled, for she had already been imaging that beach a long time ago.

Sam cleared his throat to get Jules' attention. "What do you see on that beach?"

"Umm, it was nice and warm, there was a beautiful sunset, and the water was crystal clear."

"Good," said Sam. "One more thing… I need four."

"It was deserted, but not in a scary way," Jules added. "In a peaceful way."

"Okay, great. Now describe your favourite colour in four words."

Jules raised her eyebrows. "What is this? Some kind of psych evaluation?" she questioned, an annoyed tone in her voice.

"You'll see." Sam shook his head.

"Fine," replied Jules. "It's blue and—"

"Ooh, blue!" Sam piped in humorously.

"Shut up, I'm thinking."

Sam continued to laugh to himself, wondering what he would have done if he never met Jules. She definitely wasn't your typical woman; she was quite quirky, but that's why he loved her so much.

"Well it's calm, I guess," Jules explained. "It's umm, pretty?"

"Pretty? Hah!"

Jules reached across to Sam and punched him ruthlessly in the shoulder.

"Ouch!" he cried out. "You're evil!"

"And you're an asshole," Jules growled at him. "Let me finish."

Sam nodded indifferently.

"It represents unity, optimism, and sometimes sadness, but I'd rather not say that."

"Good enough." Sam looked into Jules' calm brown eyes, detecting a touch of hostility somewhere in them, but trying to ignore it as best he could. "Next question: What's your favourite animal?"

"Probably a horse."

"Now describe it in four words."

"You know I really don't get the point of this," Jules sneered. "I'm trying to tan here. I don't need you pestering me."

"Please?" Sam insisted. "It'll be worth it after. And maybe I'll consider firing up the barbeque, even though it's only April."

"Uggh," Jules groaned. "You suck, but I seem to not be able to say no to you for some stupid reason."

Sam grinned, "Maybe because you can't resist my charm and good looks."

Jules looked Sam up and down, studying his toned chest and messy blond hair, making her realize how truly irresistible he was. But she couldn't admit it; it would ruin her perfectly untarnished badass reputation. His mischievous eyes shone like twinkling sapphires, and her heart pounded just a tiny bit faster when she saw herself reflected in them.

Jules shook away what remained of that feeling, whatever 'that' feeling was, and returned to answering the questions being asked by Sam. "Horses are beautiful, powerful, sometimes unpredictable, and…hmm, rideable, if that's even a word," she giggled, realizing that her last answer probably sounded really dumb.

Sam began to shake with laughter and nearly rolling off his chair. Jules didn't quite think her last response was quite _that_ funny, but she waited impatiently for Sam to recompose himself.

"Jules!" Sam gasped, still half laughing. "You would not believe how hilarious that was!"

Jules crossed her arms across her chest, seeming somewhat miffed by Sam's immature behaviour. "Are you making fun of me?"

"No sweetheart, I'd never make fun of you," Sam crooned, trying not to laugh. "But I'll tell you why that was so funny, just not now."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

It seemed to Sam that Jules was somewhat pissed off at something, or possibly him, so he tried to be less of a smart- aleck, at least until she lightened up. "What? Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, it's just weird," she said, nodding.

Sam smirked, noticing that Jules was avoiding his gaze. "Okay then, would you rather babe? Or sexy sniper chick? Or maybe—"

"Just Jules is fine thank you."

"Wow, someone's got a real case of PMS today!" Sam blurted out, trying to crack a joke.

"Screw you."

"Come on, Jules. What's going on?" he sighed, sitting on his knees next to Jules, who had turned over to lie on her stomach.

"Nothing," she mumbled, her voice muffled by her arms, which were covering her face. "Just leave me alone."

"Please tell me what's wrong?" begged Sam as he rubbed Jules' back gently.

Jules finally turned over, infuriated. "Stop trying to be funny, stop treating me like I'm your, I don't know, your 'babe', and above all stop trying to give me psych tests!" She roared.

Sam kissed Jules softly on the head, her angry eyes still fixed on him. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't know it made you that upset."

"I just hate being asked questions," said Jules, something noticeably off about the way she was acting. "It creeps me out."

"It's nothing weird. It's just some test that my cousin showed me when we were little," Sam promised. "I'll stop though, if you want."

As Sam wiped a tear that fell from Jules' eye, he noticed her bottom lip beginning to quiver, and her entire body trembling. "What's _really _wrong, Jules?"

"Is today the sixteenth?" she wept, Sam nodding in response. "Today is my parent's wedding anniversary."

Sam smiled comfortingly as he wrapped his arms around Jules' warm body, feeling her tears drip on to his shoulder. "You haven't let go, have you?"

Jules shook her head and whispered into Sam's ear. "I think I'm in love with you," she quietly admitted. "But I can't be."

Sam held Jules by her shoulders, confused.

"I loved my mom, but she's gone, she left me," she choked out in a failed attempt to calm herself. "I can't love you, because you'll leave me, too."

"You're mom didn't leave you, Jules. She's in heaven, and she's still with you whenever you need her," Sam soothed. "I will never, ever leave you, as long as you still want me. I promise. And as for your mom, she'd want you to let go, to be happy. Just_ let go_. "

Sam gave Jules a light peck on her cheek and returned to his chair, leaving her to reflect on what he had told her.

* * *

After a short while, Jules wiped away any remaining tears from her eyes and turned to face Sam, who was slowly beginning to fall asleep.

"Sam?" she asked, gently shaking his shoulder.

"Uh huh?" he answered as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm ready to finish the 'psych test'," she said cheerfully and smiling brightly.

"Really?" Sam seemed excited. "You sure?"

"Why not, eh?"

"So… what's your favourite food? Describe it in four words."

"That's a hard one," she lilted. "Probably Tim Hortons."

"I don't know if that really counts as a food," Sam hesitated, Jules shooting him another one of her evil glares, but more as a joke this time. "But whatever. Continue."

"It's delicious, obviously," she chirped. "It's _supposedly _fresh, and I don't know, it amuses me I guess. And… there always seems to be a cop in there."

"Well that's interesting," Sam snickered.

"Mhmm?"

"Anyways, last question: you're trapped in a pitch black room with no windows or exits of any sort. Describe how you feel in four words."

"Curl. Up. And. Die!" Jules cried out humorously, both her and Sam cracking up with laughter.

"Good job! You're done!" Sam announced. "Would you like to know your results?"

"Of course," Jules chirped.

Sam explained that the beach question reflected on what Jules thought about life, and the colour question was basically what she though about love. But when he got to the animal question, he paused.

"What?" Jules wondered nervously.

"OK, so the animal describes what you think about yourself, and you said—"

Jules clapped her hand over her mouth and blushed. "Oh my gosh!" she squeaked. "Please tell me I didn't say rideable!"

"I'm sorry," Sam chuckled. "But you did."

Jules slapped Sam's arm with such force that it left a hand shaped red mark on his arm, where she had brutally hit him.

"What was that for?" Sam shouted. "You said it, not me!"

"That sounds kinda dirty," exclaimed Jules.

"No kidding."

"Let's just pretend I never said that, alright?"

"Whatever," Sam agreed, moving on to the next question. "You said that Tim Horton's amused you, that it was delicious and fresh, and that there's always a cop in there. That makes me quite happy."

"Umm, why?"

"I amuse you, don't I?" he asked.

Jules placed her palm on her forehead and shook her head, smiling nonetheless. "I have a bad feeling about this one."

"If I remember correctly, how you describe your favourite food is what you look for in a mate."

Jules' jaw dropped to the ground.

Sam shrugged, "There's always a cop in there; I'm a cop! I amuse you, and—" he tried to say, getting interrupted by Jules.

As Sam was explaining, Jules had crawled onto his lap and straddled him between her legs. "And you're definitely delicious," she spoke seductively, placing a kiss on Sam's lips.

"Hey, I'm not a horse," he breathed, wrapping his arms around Jules' waist and pulling her down so that she was laying across him and his lips met hers once again.

"I though we were going to forget 'bout that, eh?" Jules reminded him.

"But I like when you act dirty."

"I'm sure you do."

Jules kissed Sam one final time, savoring the moment. When they finally broke apart, she placed her head on his chest and listened to the perpetual beat of his heart, praying that that heart belonged to her.

Sam stroked the brown hair that was draped over her shoulders and whispered, "I love you Jules."

Jules closed her eyes and smiled. "I love you too."

The sun began to set across Toronto, casting a warm glow across Jules' backyard, where she lay safely in Sam's arms, without worries or fears or sadness. They dozed off together, lulled by each other's heartbeats, and the seemingly distant music that played in the background.

_

* * *

*Sometimes, that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand. _

_And what you've been up there searching for forever is in your hands._

_When you figure out __**love**__ is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small*_

**The End :)**

**

* * *

Just in case any of you were wondering, the question about the dark room is about how you feel with regards to death. I didn't get to answer that in the story. Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are ALWAYS welcome! :) :) **


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